Boundaries, Rules, Ultimatums, and Expectations: What's the nuance?

As a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, I've had the privilege of guiding countless individuals on their journeys towards resilience and a sense of self-worth. In a recent session, a client was struggling with a challenging relationship and feeling lost about how to move forward. Through our discussion, the client was able to successfully grasp the nuanced differences between boundaries, rules, threats, and ultimatums. This is a common point of confusion for many of my clients.

I emphasized that true boundaries are personal. They stem from one's own values, needs, and expectations, and are not rooted in controlling someone else's behavior. This perspective is grounded in evidence-based practices like Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). ACT teaches the importance of clarifying your personal values to guide your actions, while DBT focuses on skills like radical acceptance—acknowledging reality as it is, without judgment.

Feeling overwhelmed? Resentful? It could be the result of unclear or poor application of boundaries.

By the end of our session, the client expressed a feeling of competence and relief. They felt more empowered, having gained clarity on how to apply these concepts to their own situation. Rather than trying to force their partner to change, they recognized the need to examine their own values and expectations, clarify their boundaries, and make decisions accordingly.

If you are on a journey towards resilience, feel like you are "spinning your wheels" in the same situation, feel you are not living a life aligned with your needs and values, I would be honored to support you. I use an eclectic but evidence-based approach that combines the very best of various therapeutic modalities to help you gain the self-awareness and empowerment you need to create the healthy and peaceful mindset you yearn for. This means that every session is impactful and tailor-made just for you. Contact me today to schedule an appointment, and let's work together to navigate the complexities of relationships and uncover your unique path to resilience.

And for my current clients, I'm here if you feel the need to reengage in therapy as you continue on your journey. Your resilience is my priority.